Are we in a gay sports bar?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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