And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
