It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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