if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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