10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
