Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
