you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I enjoy the company of your penis
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
