How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
