That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
