he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
