xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize