What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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