It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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