The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
