; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
