i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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