im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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