thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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