If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
