chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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