guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
