He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
