just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
