this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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