i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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