In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
