If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You have to summon your inner elephant
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
