We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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