Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn