I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
