just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
