I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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