he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
