SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
