I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
