If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
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I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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