Christians are straight up FREAKS
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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