But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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