After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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