Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
