where am i from again
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
