Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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