He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Mom said you looked used
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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