you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
