Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize