Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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