Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
