Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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