i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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