if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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