Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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