People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
His hands were made for my vagina.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
