God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
