We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
