He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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