Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
