My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
