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Fuck
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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