You're completely useless in the revolution.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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